Asides

To Keep..

Tell me your name, I want to know
Once my lips utter then in my mind will flow
Forever it will linger, forever it will be kept
In the depths of my soul, i will never regret..

Show me your face, I want to see
Let my hands feel it, to remember thee
Don’t hide your pain, let me dry your tears
Free your emotions, release your fears..

I Am..

Nothing.
I am staring at nothing.
I am waiting for nothing.
I am just too tired to look away.
Tired to move. Tired to get up.

Where are my feelings?
I forgot where I left them.
I feel so empty and hollow..
It’s like the world is revolving and I just need to go with it.
Without any purpose and direction to go.

I have loved someone and gave my all.
I emptied myself until there’s nothing more.
I was waiting for him to fill me with his love.
As I have given to him, somehow I hoped I will be loved.
I guess I wasn’t and will never be enough.

I didn’t know what I have ever done.
To deserve such bad treatment from people.
To bleed, left and broken like something worthless.
I only did what I know, and that is to love.
Being loyal and honest, should I stop?

In Love?

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. ”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Am I in love?

I guess so.

Wait!

No!

I AM in love. So MUCH in love.

So much that I can’t contain it anymore. I need help. I feel like I am drowning and I know there’s a big possibility that I’ll be hurt more than I could imagine.

I don’t want to be pessimistic on our relationship and there’s no one else to blame but myself if all of these explode to my face someday. I wanted this badly, and I have prayed for it a couple of times. Now that I have it, no matter what, I’ll hold on to it.

Is it wrong to love too much? Is it wrong to give your all to someone without expecting something in return?
If this is wrong, then let me be wrong all my life. I want to stay with him as long as I can and as long as he wants me beside him.

My heart is now in his hands. All I can do is just hope that he will take care of it like it was his own heart.

Untitled

It hurts like hell I want to die
I trusted you my life but tell me why
You lied to me and what is worse
You made me feel it was all my fault.

I knew it all along but remained calm
Playing with my heart in your own palm
I thought you will change if I showed you kindness
But instead, you returned it all with sadness.

I don’t want to ask myself what I did wrong
Because I know I did my best all along
Loving you with all my heart unconditionally
Putting your best interest as always be.

I know my worth, I am special.
I will not let myself be treated like an animal
I will be strong, I will make it through
My God is here to save me as He always does..