Another one of the poems I just suddenly composed as I was going home few days ago..
I used a guy’s point of view that’s why it’s a “she” at the end..
The story is told about a 5-year-old girl who asked the boy seated next to her, “What is love?” He replied, “Love is when you steal my chocolates every day from my bag and yet, I still keep them in the same place.”
What is love?
There have been, there are, and there will be many definitions, but the truth is, we do not define love. Rather, it is love that defines us. It is love that brings out who we are, what we are capable of, and what is best in us.
Yes, it is love that defines us.
And refines us.
— Excerpt from Father Orbos’ Treasured Moments book.
I’m nearing my 30th birthday and I would say I am way beyond the marrying age (should be around 25, right?).. This is the age where I no longer believe in fairytale-like love stories and, as they say, “reality bites”–no such thing as fairytales, only in the books.. Sorry to burst your bubbles, peeps!
When I was still a little girl, I dreamt of meeting my true love in a somehow magical way (haha!) — I’d be in a place I’ve never been before then as I looked around, I’d meet the guy’s eyes and from there, it would be love at first sight! Then, we would be so in love that from the time we met, we’re inseparable–high school, college, until we have our own careers.. Planned for our future and would decide to get married eventually, have kids and grow old together..
Wouldn’t that be magical? I didn’t know then that those things only happen in the movies or in the books.. That, for you to be able to find love, you have to be brave, learn from mistakes, take risks.. Which, I wouldn’t dare do again..
If you have invested all your emotions to someone and it didn’t work out, you’ll feel exhausted and you’ll start building this high wall–brick by brick–not for anyone who dares to enter, but instead, it is built for yourself not to experience the pains and sufferings again (well, for me, that was the reason). You’ll also have something in your heart that somehow controls it whenever you feel attracted to someone (like a remote control!?).. Yah yah, right.. I sound like a very bitter, devastated woman.. Hmmm.. Maybe.. I don’t know..
Is that how people would describe a woman like me? A woman who is so frightened to take any risks because she might fall for the wrong person again? Someone who, once she falls in love, holds back her feelings and let the ‘what ifs’ hanging? Or simply just because she hates rejection?
Whatever the reason I may have behind my mind (I really don’t know the exact reason!), for now, I already accepted the fact that I may stay single forever.. That God sometimes doesn’t provide partners to other people and are destined to follow a different path in life.. I am still yet to discover what really God has prepared for me but I am praying that someday, somehow, He will take away this fear I have and will take courage to jump onto the other side of the fence not being afraid of whatever I may discover..
I was on my way home one rainy morning, when words just came flowing in my mind creating a short poem about a silent and unrequited love.. It has been years since the last time I was able to compose a poem or even tried to.. I thought I’ve already forgotten about it..
Should I say the words came directly from the deepest part of my heart? I don’t know.. They say that some times, our deepest desires show like words whispered to your ears or they just cross your mind..
Yes, I admit it, I am currently in a situation wherein to do nothing is the best thing.. And moving forward would only create chaos more to myself than any other person.. Well, I guess, all I can do is just stand still and just express it here..