A few years back, all I wanted was to have a new adventure in life outside my country — have a stable job, help my family, try to travel more often than I did before. Simple pleasures in life a single lady like me wishes.
It wasn’t a smooth transition in a foreign land especially this was my first time to work overseas. I have experienced a lot of failed applications and frustrations before I landed a job in a good company. It was a good start for me. I had dreams of building and providing a better life for my family — we were not impoverished, we were educated and well-raised — it was just that I wanted my family feel a little bit more. When we were growing up, we were all focused on studies and our parents were focused on working and providing for us. We never travelled much or ate out as a habit. We lived within our means.
I started doing it for my family and for myself, I started securing my future — some small investments and savings. I am determined to do it and I know I was getting there.
But as they always say, life is never fair.
I also never thought that this will be the same place where I’d experience things I haven’t done before. Having a bit more of independence, I went on to try new things but still within the boundary of how I was raised. I still didn’t try to smoke, drink or go clubbing. They are not really in my personality and will never ever try doing those.
But I tried one thing I didn’t know would have a big effect on my life — having a relationship with someone from a different culture. In the Philippines, I never had a serious one with a Filipino that I can call my boyfriend. I guess no one can handle my personality there.
And on my second relationship which lasted 2 years, we didn’t expect we would be given something to last forever — a child. I got pregnant at a time we least expected it and it was really a rollercoaster journey. All those worries of how to be a mom, how is the baby growing inside me, my partner’s facing his own struggles — took a toll on both of us — we were so stressed. We didn’t know to handle things since we were not both ready.
Communication was an issue due to cultural differences and a language barrier as well. Sometimes even if he didn’t really mean to say something, since it is difficult to translate it from Moroccan or French to English, I misunderstood what he said and feel hurt. The same thing for me — I have to choose my words in English carefully so I can get the message across and not sound sarcastic and hurt him.
Eventually, we decided to act as adults and be responsible parents for our baby. We are still adjusting to everything and we know that we still need to learn a lot along the way. We are still yet to discover the right way to do things but we are getting there. We just passed one major hurdle in our lives. And we know we will be able to do more in the future. We just have to hang on and work together for the sake of our child.
It was really hard to accept things in life that are not expected and will ruin your plans and goals. Sometimes, it makes you feel a bad person or you act inappropriately. You unintentionally hurt your partner and regret it since words were already spoken. But forgiveness is the key. You need to learn to forgive yourself and learn to accept that all your plans will not always happen and most of the times, life will give you something to try to weaken you. Accept your fate and see things from a different perspective. Face your problems with dignity and strength. Soon, you will overcome all of them and eventually you can say you did it.
“When life gives you the lemon, make lemonade.” 🍋🍋🍋