Going back, the quote above is so real to me and it doesn’t only apply to things but people too. People are not what they always seemed to be. As they say, there are always two sides of a coin and humans are not an exception. No matter how nice or kind they may seem, there would always be a darker side of them. Maybe not that dark that you will be frightened, but enough to surprise you and make you more curious. People love to show their best behaviours in front of others – everybody does. We love to show our greatest assets or traits and then as much as we can, try to hide those we think will ruin or stain our image. It’s normal, it’s human nature. We can’t blame people for doing that because it is also one key to survival. The more you don’t know anything about someone, the more he poses a threat or be more interesting. But sometimes, even if people already know there’s a threat waiting, they still tend to dip their fingers on it. It is also human nature – curiosity. It gives us thrill and excitement of getting closer to the unknown and how it would affect us. Would it be beneficial to us or would it have a great impact that could change the course of our lives? I know I am a type of person who doesn’t like taking risks and would rather stay on the safe side, but there are times that the adrenalin kicks in. I’d definitely take the plunge and, see what happens when I get there. These past few weeks, I have made decisions again based on my emotions. Most of them I would say I really didn’t think it over and hastily made the move. I didn’t care because that was my feelings then, I was feeling okay and curious. And I would do everything just to find out more about it. And I guess, I found the answer at the end. It also satiated my curiosity and was able to go back to my old self. That was my biggest fear when I took the risk – for me to change into someone I am not and never thought I would be. For more than a month, I would say I was not the same Zai my friends knew. I was living a double life. I was smiling at people and laughing with them but at the same time, I was feeling confused and lonely inside. Or, I was keeping quiet and aloof yet inside I was conspiring to do the unfathomable. At that time, I felt like a Russian spy or an award-winning theatre actress, hiding my real emotions and acting as if nothing was wrong.
- Everybody has a secret.
Tell Me... Am I From This World? 